What Most Idiots Don’t Know about Fear of Failure

December 13, 2007 by  
Filed under Featured Article, Inspirational

“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain” – Various characters, Dune

I received a special email a few days ago. An acquaintance of mine is newly engaged. She dated the guy for a little over a year. It was happy news. “Wow a little over a year”, I thought to myself. My thoughts drifted to an old friend of mine.

Several years ago, Jack was pining for a woman he worked with. He managed to go out with her a couple times. But the relationship never flourished; to her credit, she was upfront with him and told him she wasn’t interested in him.

Regardless, Jack liked her a lot and he was determined to win her heart. Every time he’d do something to show her how she felt, she’d rebuff his advances. Months passed and Jack continued to be in the same place of frustration. He didn’t understand why she didn’t want him. Most importantly he couldn’t accept it. What made things harder for him, so he says, was every now and then he would see her. They worked for the same company. They were in different departments but every once in a while their professional lives would cross. Every time he saw her, he would tell me about it and his resolve would renew. Over time I realized he wasn’t going to get over her any time soon. We lost contact a little after that because I got a new contract at a different location.

Five years passed. Jack gave me a call. We met up for some drinks and dinner. It wasn’t long before he mentioned her again and how he had overheard from co-workers that she is dating someone else at work. He was severely depressed. I told him this was way long overdue, but it’s about time he moved on.

I remember thinking how sad it was, within the time he was pining for this girl, I had met someone, got engaged, got married and now I have a child on the way. If only he just threw in the towel and tried for someone else. And now my other friend, in just a little over a year she met someone and is now newly engaged. He could have easily have done the same thing four to five times over

It all comes down to one of the most over looked types of fear, the ‘Fear of Failure’.

What most believe think The Fear of Failure is.

Most people think that this kind of fear means not starting something because they think it’s going to fail. That’s only half of it.

It all comes down to an old saying, “Winners never quit and quitters never win”.
We are taught not to quit because by quitting we lose. My friend Jack just didn’t want to quit, his ego couldn’t take losing his objective. By giving up on winning her heart so that he can pursue someone else he could be in a happy relationship by now.

Sometimes, you have to quit.

I ran across another saying, that fits this best, “Winners never quit and quitters never win, but people who never quit and never win are idiots”

Don’t be an idiot.

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3 Comments on "What Most Idiots Don’t Know about Fear of Failure"

  1. Andrew on Thu, 13th Dec 2007 9:04 am 

    Yeah, there is no point in fighting a battle that was already lost. I used to be a lot like your friend, at some point it became easier for me to just let go and move on.

  2. Leiandra on Thu, 13th Dec 2007 10:01 am 

    “Know when to cut your losses” – that’s another saying that came to my mind while reading. Of course, I like “Don’t be an Idiot.” Kind of drives the point more. :)

  3. Claire on Thu, 13th Dec 2007 4:28 pm 

    I have a friend like yours. In fact, I think we might all know someone like your friend. I tried listening, then I tried being blunt and telling her to just “move on”, etc…..
    Nothing worked. Very frustrating and sad. I think I’ll call her tonight and just say “Don’t be an Idiot.”

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